outlier no longer

since the early days of our courtship, john's described himself as an "outlander" - a phrase used in Children of the Corn - within the community wherein i was born & raised. it's always good for a chuckle.

it's only today, in thinking about my gnarly relationship with a greatly admired s-i-l who (alas) doesn't seem to return the esteem, that it hits me that throughout my life i've been an outlier, both in my family & my community.

outlier - /ˈoutˌlīər/; noun 1. a person or thing situated away or detached from the main body or system. 2. a person or thing excluded from a group; an outsider.

the first definition applies to my relationship within my hometown in my earlier years; even when it appeared there was connection that's all it was - an appearance. from kindergarten thru college, i never made a good, close friend. so glad those days of outsideness are long over!!

the second definition captured my relationship to & within my birth family. "a person or thing excluded from a group" - and i never knew the why. and praise be that those achingly alone days are past. i enjoyed a delightful visit with mike over charter day & a good gab with scott. mim & i have been writing back & forth. and john & i are writing to peter, letting him know we'd enjoy bringing take-out from his beloved golden dragon over to his digs in norristown.

gee, it sure does feel good to be in from the cold, an outlier no more!!