Great Spirit, Leave Me Wordless

Still thinking about the awesome power of our moments before we became enslaved to words, when we processed a sense of what happened around us with labeling it.  

When, as a baby who hadn't a clue that those sounds had meaning that could communicate or confuse, we sense the relationships between individuals & groups.  

How did those impressions sink into our mind?   

Common sense tells us they did.  

Our mind was unformed in the acceptably reasonable way, but it still functions even as a newborn.  Been wondering for months & months about the sense of those sense memories - how they're filed in my mind, how do they touch my life.  I have a tender feeling about them.  A longing to be liberated through wordlessness....

Fans & Deflected Light

Summer temperatures & night work in the computer studio has me longing for whole-house air conditioning.  Praise be for small, powerful fans & deflecting the beam of the studio light!  

I grew up in a family that "made do," had a sister who downright glorified creatively eeking by.  The older I get, the more it seems to me that "making do" isn't the virtue I once thought it was.  My change of thinking all started with, of all things, an oven.  A new oven, one that met my core needs, and a new microwave (recommended to purchase in conjunction with the new oven range, as it provides ventilation).  

A friend, horrified that two toaster ovens handle all my baking, offered to purchase us a new oven range (our's has been basically a very big 2-burner unit for several years).  When I asked for a budget, she told me to get what I needed.  Except, as it turned out, the final price tag was WAY over what she'd envisioned.

Instead of being crestfallen, I thanked her for her generous offer - because it surely was - then declined.  I'd seen what I need & "making do" with what was possible within the $ constraints was NOT an option.  Having tasted what really met my needs, and perfectly happy with my two brave little toaster ovens, settling for less would have been ghastly.  That might not make any sense to most people, but it's clear as day to me.

Why "settle" when you can be INSPIRED?  Why "make do" when filling a need can be a goad to taking actions that make the dearly desired my own?  

A lot of folks poo-poo ambition as a vice.  Not me.  Ambition is a spur.  Imagine where we'd be without ambitious individuals!  Competition was typically painted as a vice, too.  Back when I was in high school, the girls were only allowed to compete with other classes - competition against other schools, competition that brought similar glory to what the boys achieved, was frowned upon for females.  

Ambition & competition.  Sure, they can be vices, but to me they are twin virtues that help mere mortals reach for heights beyond their natural reach.  

An interesting rumination, springing from thoughts of a small, powerful fan & deflecting light so it doesn't turn the computer studio into a sauna.  Thoughts about a whole-house air conditioning system that might never become reality (then again, one never knows what can happen if it matters enough to set my thoughts & heart on it), and the oven range/microwave combo that someday surely will.  Moving past "making do" & "settling," embracing instead (however foreign they might feel) a wholesome sense of ambition & accomplishment-nurturing competition.  

DREAM BIG  ~  BELIEVE  ~  LAUGH OFTEN

Slogging Through

Expected to get so much accomplished in May - instead, it feels like I've been treading water, except it's been in a great vat of metaphysical oatmeal.  All has NOT been in place.

And that, dear friends, is part of an ancient pattern in my life that needs to be recognized, then set aside. Historically, the more I wanted to do something, the more I made it the last thing that was done, sometimes it never even was recognized with action.  Just blithering.  Because that's what dreams without actions is - mere blithering.

Well, at least I don't have to be an idiot.  Can get back the past 4+ weeks, but I can learn from them.  This turning things around isn't going to happen overnight or in a fortnight or even in four months.  But it can happen by simply keeping slogging through.  Don't let that vat of metaphysical oatmeal become quick sand that sucks me under.  Get over to the side of the vat & CLIMB OUT.  Might not be easy, but no one else can do it for me.

Instead of taking my self to task for not being more of the Task Type that's my true nature, realize that the voluntarily-induced amnesia of the past month is a sure sign that my current intended path onward & upward is spot on, or else I wouldn't have ignored it so persistently.  All that needs be done is ignore the deep desire to ignore, instead recognizing the powerful inclination to induce self-imposed slumbers which can only be undone by the invigorating awareness that breaks the spell.

Stop slumbering & keep slogging through!