Seriously - COSTA RICA??

Aside from a deep longing to visit Rhodeside, I've never ever harbored any sort of longing to visit Costa Rica.  Am a Vermont & Montreal type, not Florida & the Bahamas. 

Until now. 

Now, I long with every fiber in my being to be in Costa Rica the first week in February.  To be precise, to be at Blue Spirit Omega, in Nosara, Costa Rica, lapping up inspiration from Nancy Slonim Aronie. 

Yes, it would have been so much easier & waaaay less expensive to connect with her this past March at the Rowe Camp & Conference Center ~OR~ at Omega in June, but am only now reading her wondrous book, Writing from the Heart!!

So, Costa Rica it is. 

Is it in any way, shape or form SANE to plot & plan ways to get to a tropical paradise when I barely have one shekel to rub against another? 

Sanity has nothing to do with this! 

Just reading the first few pages of her book changed my life, made me realize that - at its most successful - my life's work is to help others, including but not limited to olders, experience every moment as present-moment memoir. 

Yes, yes, yes - that is a contradiction in terms, but the gist of it is what I mean.  To live OUR own, unique lives in a manner that honors each & every moment.  Every one.  To find rich material for life experience in the most challenging as well as the most celebratory times. 

As a blurb for the book - featured on the cover - notes, "I loved Writing from the Heart for its warmth, its wit, and its celebration of the ups, downs, and unexpected swerves of the writing journey."  

YES!  That is what I long to convey to my grannie clients, to my everyones - 

celebrate all of it!

It's possible that the first week in February might find me in frosty Pennsylvania rather than toasty Costa Rica, but a girl can wish - and I will!   But if fortune smiles on me in other ways & am still in SE PA come the week of 02/01/14, you'll likely find me nestled in my Squirrel Haven sactuary, a cozy spot all my own, tucked down in the basement, writing or enjoying solitude or experiencing some other uplifting aspect of lessons from the wondrous Nancy Slonim Aronie. 

Then again, you never know...   Every evening star will be tapped with a request, every sweet dream graced with splendid anticipation.  In my heart of hearts, am envisioning blowing out ALL my 03/07 birthday candles with a thank you instead of a wish!

Surprise Challenge

How many other people are like me, facing the startling challenge of making strides in personal work, only to have stubborn remnants of uber determined self dig its heels in & RESIST letting go of the very things I've worked so hard to release?  

So Hum ~ Who Am I?

The first day of what I term the ChOprah Center 21-day meditation series, Desire & Destiny.

Surprised by how much I took from it, what with being at the very public Swedenborg Library.  Yet, all surrounding distractions fell away as I followed Deepak's voice into the meditation. 

The same cannot be said of the internal distractions, the monkey chatter that played over & over atop the base note of today's mantra - So hum/Who am I?  Fascinating to feel the duck & weave of sounds & images that overlay the mantra.  My moment-to-moment reality is that whifty stuff continually competes just that way, diverting attention & focus & energies. 

But my deeper mind DID keep drawing my attention & focus & energies back to the mantra, back to be who I am, whatever that may turn out to be. 

My first dabble at meditation went far better than I expected.   So hum - What am I?


You are what your deepest desire is; as is your desire, so is your intention;  as is your intention, so is your will;  as is your will, so is your deed;  as is your deed, so is your destiny.
 

"Who Pays?"

This past week, I conducted an experiment.  Instead of test tubes, I had mini cupcakes; instead of chemicals, I had frostings, sprinkles & a smattering of embellishments.  To whit, I made 200 cupcakes for the New Church Day picnic at the church & offered a “frost & sprinkle” activity for any & all comers. 

John & I were tucked into the cloisters, which turned out to be an ideal location.  Most picnickers didn’t know we were there, so instead of being inundated with dozens & dozens of kids & adults waiting to frost & decorate mini cupcakes, we enjoyed ourselves with the about 40 souls who happened upon us & enjoyed picking out a mini, a frosting & a sprinkle. 

We had fun, dozens of kids & adults enjoyed it, and John took in stride his first outing as the  Cupcakester.  And I came away with good data for putting on our next community cupcake event (the July 4^th picnic). 

Next time (less then 10 days from now!), will prefrost the cupcakes (a combination of chocolate & vanilla cupcakes and chocolate & vanilla frostings), keeping them tucked away in a cooler.  Will haul them out as needed, about 2 dozen at a time, allowing enough time for frostings to warm up enough to retain a sprinkle or embellishment, without the frosting melting in the hot July temps.  And no one will have to wait for a child to decide which topping to pick!  (Ginny set the record on 06/19, taking 5 minutes to choose!)   

Instead of being at a long table, we’ll have the cooler with us at our picnic blanket, along with two of the small portable tables Leslie gave us when she moved to her parents – just the right size for a container of cupcakes on one table, an array of topping options on the other.  Easy to be open for business, or just enjoy our picnic.  Win-win, my favorite combination!

Offering cupcakes provides a reason for us to be at the picnic.  We don’t have children or extended family, aren’t particularly fond of picnics, don’t really have a spur to attend the community event.  Cupcakes provide a reason for & method of connection!

What amazed me with the New Church Day picnic foray was the number of adults who asked, “Who pays for your ingredients?”,  who were genuinely startled when I answered, "We do."  It seemed incomprehensible to them that I would underwrite such a venture.  

Let’s see – the cost of making the cupcakes was under $5.  Frostings set us back about $8.  Yes, I bought multi-colored non-pareils, rainbow jimmies, chocolate jimmies & a box of Nerds, adding another $8.  Didn’t have the dazzling choice of embellishments & sprinkles that’s offered at Bryn Athyn Bounty, baked mini cupcakes instead of the standard size, and had a relatively limited choice of frostings.  Did the whole thing for just over $20. 

Yet some people would consider that a princely sum.  Including people with considerable wealth.  

Why would I pay good money to give something away to kids & adults who aren’t related or connected to me in any way but through the heart?  A shocking # of whom seem stumped that I’d invest in cupcakes & frostings et al without thought of reimbursement or profit.  (At the New Church Day picnic, one man tried to forcibly pay me for the mini he frosted & decorated for an adult friend – he could not comprehend my refusal.)

Who pays?  That one question gets in the way of doing so much good.  

Last year, I put on a spur-of-the-moment New Year’s Eve party at our local retirement village.  Rented a classic Cary Grant & Katharine Hepburn movie, bought several bottles of Martinelli’s sparkling cider, hauled out my champagne flute collection, whipped up about four basic desserts (fanciest was the lemon bars).  We had a grand time & the whole thing cost me less than $30.  What was my return on investment?  Kept New Year's Eve depression at bay for two grannie clients & got to see the fun that everyone had, including John & myself.

Out of that evening came my dream of putting on a monthly pot luck dinner at Cairnwood Village, each month provided & served by a different group of community "youngers" in thanks for all that we have received from our older friends & relatives.  It would be an open invitation, welcoming all the Cairnwood Village residents and any elder from the community who wants to attend.  If someone wants to come, but doesn’t have transportation to & from, we’d arrange for someone to pick them up & deliver them home.

Nothing fancy.  My dream is for a true pot luck, with each younger bringing a family dish he or she particularly enjoys making.  Could be as simple & low cost as spaghetti casseroles, tossed salads, fruit juice & water, cupcakes & brownies for dessert.  

The food wouldn’t matter; the love behind it would. 

Yes, it would take a teensy bit of money to put on.  Yes, it would require time organizing & setting up & cleaning afterward.  But our time & energy, giving both freely, even joyously, is what provides the value.

To my shock, most people I talk to about my idea of a monthly pot luck consider it pie in the sky, a non starter.  Who'd pitch in to make it happen?  What's in it for them?  

From my point of view, who wouldn’t?  Who wouldn’t have a sense of reward from saying thank you to people who deserve hearing it every day?  

But it seems that to some folks, if an effort doesn’t include a pay back for them, it isn’t worth their time & certainly not their money or inconvenience.  

I don’t believe that’s most people.  I believe that most people long to offer some form of pay back for all the bounty we’ve received, especially those of us in my small hometown. 

There’s a great line in the film Scrooged, near the end of the flick.  Frank Cross, a once-sorry excuse for a human being who has seen the light, tells a TV audience, “It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”  He goes on to talk about how it would be if we carried that Christmas Eve feeling into the whole year, that once you get a taste for doing for others, you’ll want it again & again.  A great riff on true charity, which does more for the heart & soul of the person offering it than it does for the recipient.

Personally, I’ve been hooked for years.  It feels great to let others know you see them, you appreciate them, you want to say THANKS.  My belief is that my little hometown is filled with people waiting to get a taste of such sweetness, to reach out & let others know they are seen, valued, appreciated.

Who’s going to pay?  Does it matter? We can all get unimagined returns on even the smallest investment.  We just have to make it, then feel it pay off.  

As the combined cast sings at the end of Scrooged, inviting the movie audience to join in ~

Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand –

Put a little love in your heart.

You see it's gettin' late, oh please don't hesitate –

Put a little love in your heart.

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me you just wait you just wait and see and see…

Optimistic Pessimist, or vice versa?

When it comes to my faith-based community’s foray into the Appreciative Inquiry process, am I an optimistic pessimist or a pessimistic optimist?

From the beginning, I was skeptical, leery that the announced process was just another system-in-a-box that had caught someone’s attention.  However, such an almost jaded reaction on my part quickly horrified me & sent me online to research the process. 

To be honest, what I read wasn’t all that encouraging (seemed better suited for  organizations with clearly identifiable stakeholders).  Then, I heard a different take on the process.  I brought it up during a Community Matters conference call & was surprised when a couple participants shared heart-warming stories about their communities’ AI experiences.  Success was possible!  Where once I saw only cause for skepticism, now I could see potential for great things. 

What touched me most were their descriptions of working up through grassroots (rather than from a top-down structure) and building off of extant best practices, achievements & successes.

Once I heard their stories, I looked forward to the next  AI “summit,”  which I attended with high hopes.  At first, it was exciting to hear people brainstorming ways we could seek opinions from the community’s older demographic – until they clarified that interest was limited to opinions about the “AI” process, not in general. 

That just hit me wrong.  Was my response tied to my own deep, community-driven desire to connect more fully to those older voices?  Possibly.  In any case, it was enough to leave me feeling unsatisfied & unengaged. But I continued to hold out great hope for the process to yield good fruit, especially since it would spring from seeds of my community’s successes & strong points. 

Yesterday, at church, I picked up the “Outcomes of voting on the Strategic Plan.”  After dropping off a grannie client, I headed to Be Well to enjoy one of my final café au laits (go vegan, at my doctor’s insistence, this week) & check out the Final Three. 

Sitting there in that cozy space, surrounded by pictures from last year’s Bryn Athyn Bounty, settled in to look over the results, culled from 200 participants at eight different community venues.   

The Final Three are:

• support people in spiritual living, and provide them with tools and support to engage in spiritual practices the Lord (??) tells us about;
• find ways to welcome young people into our church community and to involve them in it;
• ensure there is broad input and transparency in decisions.

Hmmm…  Not what I expected.  

To begin with, the first two seem more relevant for the ministry than for the grassroots laity.  But what took me seriously aback discovering each of the Final Three is a broad initiative, rather than a specific, action-oriented goal.  Not one of the three is SMART. 

Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist.  That doesn’t mean they’re dumb or not worthwhile.  They just aren’t SMART, as in:

Specific

Measurable

Achievable/Attainable

Relevant

Timely

What is an example of a SMART goal?  Rooted in the Final Three, they could be:

• Create a weekly online, interactive doctrinal class with direct involvement at its first airing, accessible at a viewer’s convenience any time thereafter, with the ability to share comments or questions, building up a rich archive of past classes.  
• Build off proven success initiatives such as New Church Live, SWET, and the various church camps (Maple, Laurel, the granddaddy of them all – the British Academy Summer School) to develop the first tier of a multi-level youth ministry that involves lay leaders, under the direction of pastoral staff. 
• Develop an easy-to-access & navigate interactive website that functions as a resource center, forum & access point to the Pastor’s Office on matters covering the full spectrum of issues related to decision making.

Caveat - I am not advocating any of these, simply using each as an example of a SMART goal:  Specific, Achievable/attainable, Relevant to the overall goal of strengthening a waning sense of community & connection, Measurable & Timely.

I apologize for my skepticism.  Chalk it up to over 20 years of corporate business experience with systems similar to Appreciative Inquiry.  I’ve been part of a select few that succeeded, many that struggled, and some that ultimately failed.  It is essential for the society for this one to succeed.

That said, two statements in yesterday’s handout stand out to me like red flags waving:

• “Over the past few months we’ve been asking people in the congregation to help us prioritize the 27 items on the strategic plan that arose from the Appreciative Inquiry process, and subsequent work with the Board, Pastor’s Office and School.”
• “Thus the pastoral staff and the board are happy with the results.” 

 Wow.  Both seem to indicate that key people are unaware that  1)  all related work is part of AI, from brainstorming beginning to ultimate real-time actions;  2) it’s based on being a grassroots effort - making organizational leadership “happy with the results” is not a goal.  Both statements leave the impression that  organization leaders used to taking the helm continued to do so, rather than dropping back to virtually invisible status, letting grassroots community members take the lead.

Maybe I am the totally wrong person to comment on the Appreciative Inquiry process. a process I chose to not be part of, therefore one I know very little about. 

For example, I am confused that the Final Three seem to address our deficiencies.  Isn’t that contrary to the very heart of Appreciative Inquiry, which is designed to focus on existing best practices, achievements, and successes? 

Am sorry for sounding like such a Debbie Downer.  But am I an optimistic pessimist or a pessimistic optimist?  I’d say the former - I believe great things can come out of Appreciative Inquiry, when the process is followed.  Not sure it has been.   

It’s clear that I have definite opinions on the Final Three & how the process was followed; still, it took me over 24 hours to come to the difficult conclusion that I have to share my thoughts.  Was kept awake last night by more than a glorious “super moon” streaming in my window.  

Speak up or stay out of the picture? 

Got me thinking about Stephen Covey's ladder.  What would you do if you saw someone with a brand new ladder, one that reached great heights & had a firm footing, but which was placed against the wrong wall?  Or maybe Christine Kane is right, and there is NO wrong wall.  

What to do, what to do?  

Speak up, or stay silent?

Spent what felt like a sleepless night batting around what feels like the quintessential  “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” situation.  Countless people have put in countless hours of dedicated work into this process.  It pains me that they might feel I am disparaging their efforts.  

Not so!  I am appreciative of all their work & inspiration, especially Erik Buss.  

At the same time, do I keep silent rather than share my observations? 

Whichever I do, I am at risk of either public or personal censure.

In the end, the process itself made up my mind for me.  “Appreciative inquiry is a strategy for purposeful change that identifies the best of ‘what is’ to pursue dreams and possibilities of ‘what could be.’ It is a co-operative search for the strengths, passions and life-giving forces that are found within every system—those factors that hold the potential for inspired, positive change.”  Knowing that, how could I stay silent?

So, we end up back at my original great hope - that the Appreciative Inquiry process ultimately nurtures & develops a healthy sense of community & individual connection to each other and the Church.  And, always - let the sense of community & connection grow, beginning with each one of us.  That is a process that never fails.

Real Deal - Bryn Athyn Community Theater (B-Act)

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."   ~ Margaret Mead ~   In my little hometown, NO group has produced the dramatic changes in our community & our schools & our relationship to the larger community around us than Bryn Athyn Community Theater.  Not exaggerating, just a fact.

B-Act started 33 years ago with our first production, Arsenic Old Lace, performed on the stage of the Assembly Hall.  If theater historians visited Bryn Athyn today & went looking for the site of that first production, they would not be able to find it, search they high or search they lo.  It's been gone these 11 years, transformed (literally) into the Mitchell Performing Arts Center.  And the Mitchell Performing Arts Center (MPAC to most folks, The Mitchell to me) changed EVERYTHING about the Academy schools & community. 

The Mitchell's website describes it to a T ~ "The dream began in the 1980’s when a group of theater enthusiasts in Bryn Athyn, Pennsylvania collaborated to dream up new visions of a community theater. Among this group was Mimi Mitchell, longtime supporter of the performing arts and drama teacher at both the Academy of the New Church and College. In addition to being one of the major benefactors of the project, Mimi contributed her substantial enthusiasm and theatrical experience to the project."  

It started with that small group of theater enthusiasts, but it would never have happened without a couple of determined people who broke the resistance to building what is now considered an iconic campus building. 

The story behind the building of the Mitchell Performing Arts Center played like a melodrama.  It is difficult - unimaginable! - to believe the lack of interest in building what is now considered an iconic place & space.  Back then, everything was about sports.  Even when building did proceed with the performing arts space (which only happened after deftly placed pressure from a couple enthusiasts), there was no matching grant for funds raised as there had been when the Asplundh Field House was renovated & expanded; certain key features - which could only be included at the time of construction - were not added.  But virtue saved the day & the theater was built!  

Not that anyone in the audience would know.  From the moment the curtain raised on The King & I, everyone fell in love with The Mitchell.  It has been a hotbed for theatrical talent within the schools & Bryn Athyn & beyond.  The Mitchell Performing Arts Center personifies, embodies, shouts "COMMUNITY!!" from its rooftop.  

And it wouldn't have been more than a cockeyed-dream meeting skeptical scowls if it hadn't been for that small group of committed theater enthusiasts known as Bryn Athyn Community Theater.  Mega bravos!!

But B-Act had been a major, albeit quiet, ground breaker for more expansive community long before 2002.  It was, to the best of my knowledge, the first official Bryn Athyn community organization to welcome people outside of our faith.  Hard to believe in this day & age, opening it up was a controversial subject & there was not complete agreement it was the right thing to do.  How well that decision has played out over the years.

Such years!  Such amazing productions, including original productions written by B-Act members, including Liz Kufs' Avalon and Kent Cooper's  Under the Shadow of Thy Wings.  

Being on the B-Act stage changed at least one life - mine.  Back in the days when our productions were performed on the Heilman Hall stage, I was cast as Mrs. Boyle in The Mousetrap.  Cameron didn't cast me because I delivered the best audition - he cast me because I was the only one he could dragoon into volunteering, in spite of almost no acting experience & (sadly) little to no talent.  But being on stage opened an opportunity - through a wildly serendipitous turn of events - to step outside of myself for the first time.  By the time I tried out for & won the delicious role of the sarcastic & quick-witted Doreen, in Tartuffe, I was infinitely more adept at stepping outside of myself.  (My B.A. friends told me, "Doreen brought out a whole new you!", while friends from beyond B.A. said, to a person, "Type casting.")

From it's inception to present day, Bryn Athyn Community Theater has personified the real deal when it comes to being an awesome example of true community spirit.  

In its 32nd year, B-Act is as energized & splendid as ever.  Pirates of Penzance was nothing short of over-the-top FABULOUS throughout its sold-out (!) performances.  The future looks dazzling, with the multi-talented, energetic Justine Brannon (Mabel, in Pirates) taking the reins as B-Act president, building on a strong foundation of previous productions & Boards.  

It is not exaggerating to say that the high school, the college, the community (both immediate & beyond) would not be even close to what they are today without the spark & spur of Bryn Athyn Community Theater, the dreams of its small, committed group of enthusiasts, and the talent of its cast & crews over the years.  

BRAVO!  to an organization that changed its hometown and, in so doing, changed the world.  

Encore!!

Thoughtless (is good!)

Over the past few days, I have not acted normally.  And that is wonderful!

In the wee small hours of Sunday morning, decided to stud the edge of Tom & Nina’s scrapbox with ½” pearls, set 2” apart, instead of trimming it with ribbon as planned.  It didn’t hit me until later, long after the entire box was completed, that the pearl-trimmed edge mirrored an architectural element in the far background of the photo that graced the lid.  Happenstance?  At the time, I thought, “Serendipity!”  Now…  Not so sure.

About an hour before the party honoring the two kicked off, I crafted a “spacer” for the 12” x 14” box out of a piece of extra 12” x 12” black scrap paper.  It basically made itself.  No conscious thought on my part, although I was aware that the contents kept shifting.  Alas, the paper spacer kept collapsing – solved, when I simply rolled up a piece of paper & slipped it inside, creating enough tension to maintain its integrity.  Eureka!

Last night, I was tired.  Bred-in-the-bone tired.  John & I were picking up a few things at the grocery store, then we were headed down to Miss Philly Grill for dinner, because I was NOT up to cooking.  As we shopped, it hit me that what I really wanted on such a dank, dark evening was a nice hot plate of spaghetti – and I had a large jar of yummy sauce at home, along with a box of campanelli pasta (bell-shaped, captures the sauce).  What didn’t process until we were eating three hours later was that the amount of time it took to make the dish & let it simmer long enough to develop a full, satisfying flavor was also the amount of time it took for me to bake 175 mini cupcakes for today’s Cupcake Lady activity at the New Church Day picnic (looking forward to when we have a regular-sized oven & the same task takes 45 mins!).    I hadn’t consciously calculated the time & very light required energy in my head, but it’s pretty darn clear that something up there toted up the advantages.

With three  (3) such instances over as many days, am delighted to announce that I am clearly getting thoughtless.  As in arriving at good solutions without going through the conscious process of thinking.  It is an amazing feeling.  Especially at the ripe old age of 61!  

Am getting more & more thoughtless, and that is a VERY good thing!!