Yes, I know that a lot of churches have special Christmas programs that welcome one & all to participate. But it will always give me shivers of joy wandering around the cathedral's Choir Hall during the annual Star of Wonder event, the first Saturday in December.
Everyone is smiles as adults & children work on decorating cookies, making star ornaments, crafting centerpieces.
As someone who grew up experiencing the Choir Hall as just a space to stand around in during a wedding reception or what you walk through on your way into services, is it a never-ending joy to feel the warmth & good fellowship, the welcoming aura that fills the room throughout the year, but especially at Christmastide. During the Star of Wonder, it feels like the building is holding all of us in a happy holiday hug. What could be a more real deal?!!
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Real Deal - Tibetan Monks at Glencairn
Bryn Athynites do not, in my opinion, have the above-average sense of community service & personal interaction with folks in need that I was raised to believe we have.
It's not that we aren't generous with our time & energies, it's just that a) it's not as universal as many seem to believe, and b) I've known a lot of people, neighborhoods & faith communities outside my beloved boro that put us to shame when it comes to outreach. It's quite possible that many folks in my hometown go over & above the norm of helping others, but they are not as unique as sometimes painted.
There are ways where Bryn Athyn is truly unique & incredibly wonderful. Consider the Great Hall at Glencairn. Where beautifully-gowned women once danced with elegantly dressed men, Tibetan monks spent a week creating an exquisite mandala out of sand.
Interesting flip from the long-ago days, when Bryn Athynites believed the best way to illustrate & protect our distinctiveness was through intentional separation from the larger community. A core reason for bringing the monks to Glencairn - a desire to introduce folks in the immediate AND larger communities to different cultural traditions, different ways of expressing faith - was quite the flip from what was once the "norm."
The monks were a hit!
Visitors were intrigued by the ritual art form, which originated in India over 2,500 years ago and has been practiced in Tibet since 600 A.D. The design of the sand mandala is based on instructions in ancient texts. It is usually done collaboratively (at Glencairn, it has been done collaboratively and by a solitary monk), as part of a religious ceremony or initiation. India 2,500 years ago and has been practiced in Tibet since 600 A.D.
It was easy for admirers to grasp that the brightly colored sand conveyed the message that although we may be different colors, may look different, we are all one. But unsuspecting onlookers were stunned by the piece's final message - after giving them several moments to appreciate his handiwork, the monks deconstructed the whole amazing thing, illustrating that nothing in life is permanent, things are always changing.
What a remarkable experience, watching a priceless piece of art being created in a vaulted room filled with priceless art - except this piece would be gone forever in a matter of mere moments, leaving behind a priceless message of peace.
We need to release what was - all of it.
Theirs is not a religion of massive introspection, but one of release. Instead of dithering about what to do to ensure we are on the path to heaven, they step away from following "shoulds," instead believing we are meant to live a life that makes sense to us, not living by rules, but from a core of what feels right, what brings peace.
What the museum presented went far beyond the mandala. A minister/teacher gave a lecture on the origins and unique aspects of the Tibetan style of Buddhism, including the purpose, symbolism, and ritualistic elements of mandalas, and proposed possible connections between Buddhist and New Church teaching (can't imagine how that might have gone down 50 years ago!). The guest curator was NOT a Swedenborgian!!! Even more radical, he believes Buddhist & Swedenborgian traditions share certain key insights on how to realize genuine fulfillment, including that true spirituality demands an engagement IN this world (not separation from it). How that might have ruffled feathers back in those long-ago days, when devout believers were convinced in the utter & complete distinctiveness of the religion!
Welcoming the monks to Glencairn, presenting us with new information about how an ancient faith connects to our practically brand new one, proved a wonderful, affecting way to introduce us to different cultural traditions, to different ways of expressing faith.
Thank you, everyone at Glencairn - when it comes to serving a distinctive use that's truly unique & distinctive, different from anything you'll find in communities around us, it's the real deal!!
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Blasphemy
Today, someone shared - in a very public forum - a story illustrating the rare community spirit that he sees hallmarks our hometown and religion.
It may seem blasphemy to many, but the strong community spirit - dropping off hot soup & homemade bread to someone who's sick, folding laundry for a frazzled family - that he sees in Bryn Athyn is just as as evident all around our little town, from Huntingdon Valley & Hatboro to New Hope & New Britain, in dozens of faith communities & hundreds of neighborhoods.
Mind you, it's a vaunted sense of community service & support that I look forward to helping blossom from perception to glorious reality. But at this point in time, we are not the altruistic community that so many life to envision. We never were - but we can be! We can turn things around, encouraging & nurturing a glorious tradition of volunteerism & engagement, instead of being a place where most folks seem to invest their time & energies in things that touch an area of interest, rather than an area of need.
"But that's human nature," friends have said.
Yes, it is. Am talking about appealing to our spiritual nature.
How many times have I seen folks in my beloved boro be exceptionally supportive - if those in need are somehow on their personal radar. I've heard their reasoning - "We only have so many unspoken-for hours in a day, so carefully doling them out makes sense on a certain level." Hey, it's only human!
Give me a magic wand & a bunch of wishes. I'd abracadabra a Bryn Athyn that fully personifies the exceptional community spirit, engagement & nurturing volunteerism many envision is already in the here & now. A place where released energies spur unimagined initiatives.
Making this vision real - a community filled with folks pursuing full-hearted "good neighbor" energies - is my until~my~last~breath purpose.
Strange but true - since I was a little kid, what I've fully, completely envisioned typically ends up a reality. Downright spooky. Well, my full, complete vision for my little hometown is it becoming a genuine hallmark of full-throttle community service & support. And that we will just BE that way, without noticing it & certainly not pointing it out.
Pardon me if this seems blasphemous, but patting ourselves on the back smacks of taking pride in being different than others, being better, more atuned & active. Reality Check: as someone who's done my best (and failed) to get people involved, am here to tell you that what the world considers volunteerism is not all that pervasive in our little boro. But it can & will be! That's not blasphemy - that's a promise!
To be continued....
It may seem blasphemy to many, but the strong community spirit - dropping off hot soup & homemade bread to someone who's sick, folding laundry for a frazzled family - that he sees in Bryn Athyn is just as as evident all around our little town, from Huntingdon Valley & Hatboro to New Hope & New Britain, in dozens of faith communities & hundreds of neighborhoods.
Mind you, it's a vaunted sense of community service & support that I look forward to helping blossom from perception to glorious reality. But at this point in time, we are not the altruistic community that so many life to envision. We never were - but we can be! We can turn things around, encouraging & nurturing a glorious tradition of volunteerism & engagement, instead of being a place where most folks seem to invest their time & energies in things that touch an area of interest, rather than an area of need.
"But that's human nature," friends have said.
Yes, it is. Am talking about appealing to our spiritual nature.
How many times have I seen folks in my beloved boro be exceptionally supportive - if those in need are somehow on their personal radar. I've heard their reasoning - "We only have so many unspoken-for hours in a day, so carefully doling them out makes sense on a certain level." Hey, it's only human!
Give me a magic wand & a bunch of wishes. I'd abracadabra a Bryn Athyn that fully personifies the exceptional community spirit, engagement & nurturing volunteerism many envision is already in the here & now. A place where released energies spur unimagined initiatives.
Making this vision real - a community filled with folks pursuing full-hearted "good neighbor" energies - is my until~my~last~breath purpose.
Strange but true - since I was a little kid, what I've fully, completely envisioned typically ends up a reality. Downright spooky. Well, my full, complete vision for my little hometown is it becoming a genuine hallmark of full-throttle community service & support. And that we will just BE that way, without noticing it & certainly not pointing it out.
Pardon me if this seems blasphemous, but patting ourselves on the back smacks of taking pride in being different than others, being better, more atuned & active. Reality Check: as someone who's done my best (and failed) to get people involved, am here to tell you that what the world considers volunteerism is not all that pervasive in our little boro. But it can & will be! That's not blasphemy - that's a promise!
To be continued....
Friday, June 14, 2013
Renew, Refresh, Revitalize
YAY! for the folks in my hometown for looking around & realizing, "Yikes! Where's our community??" And three cheers for the Appreciative Inquiry process, a way to start looking at the dynamics we cherish & new ones that could be introduced; it helps open the way for so many initiatives to come tumbling into our consciousness & be expressed into life.
Personally, I lack the patience necessary for a process like Appreciative Inquiry. Give me a ball & let me run with it, show me a need & let me start filling it. Different strokes for different folks - together, they form a picture, a collage of community-oriented activities directed at helping keep my little hometown a strong community.
Mom liked to quote Bruce Glenn, speaking of our faith - "The first generation had inspiration. The second generation had loyalty. What will our (meaning his & Mom's) generation be remembered for?"
Dean Glenn's comment gets me wondering about today's conglomerate of generations of Bryn Athynites. What will we be remembered for, when it comes to nurturing our community?
Sensing all the focused energies currently considering Who are we?, What do we want to express?, How do we want to be experienced?, perhaps it will be "renewed, refreshed, revitalized."
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Facing Patriarchy
For all of my life, I considered my little hometown a paragon of stewardship. How unsettling to realize that much - maybe most - of its vaunted qualities reached back a strong patriarchal hand.
Much of what my family & neighbors experienced as a rich community experience WAS wonderful, but it was handed to us. Literally. We were encouraged to be generous & kind, but there wasn't an urgent need to put our shoulder to the wheel, to create community-nurturing events. They were all around us, ready made.
In many ways, that history provides a great jumping off point to a renaissance of rich community experience. We can describe how it felt doing certain things, a good starting point for figuring what we can do to achieve a similar sense of connection.
Stewardship is the polar opposite of patriarchy. It is easy to see the importance of stewardship, but the lure of patriarchy is hard to recognize & resist.
To me, stewardship is making opportunities available & seeing when others point to them. It means speaking up, then stepping back, letting people embrace the opportunity or shie away from it. That is HARD, at least for me. Every fiber in my being wants to pursue, cajole, persuade. That is not stewardship.
Maybe it's not everyone's definition of the word, but for me stewardship is about helping people be themselves, whether I like it or not. It means leaving myself open for others to help me do the same. It is not about striving to control outcomes.
How does a town steeped in patriarchy recognize where its positive & negative impact on our culture, how it still influences us individually & within groups, and explore ways to become a steward-based community? Challenging, yet exciting. It won't take leadership or the outpourings of committees & charts, but the engagement of human hearts & hands.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Staggering AH HA!
Duh duh & double duh!!
Just hit me - when we had our counseling session, Peter said our family life was so toxic, he & Mike & Mim left home as soon as they graduated from high school.
Did I visibly stagger backwards, realizing the truth of what he said? Felt like it.
Our family life was toxic. Intensely so. I felt it. Still do.
For me, Peter was one of the primary toxins!
My guess is that Peter & Mim & Kerry experience me as the primary toxin. It's a good bet that Whitney & Reynolds, maybe even Scott experienced me as the primary toxin.
Our family was spectacularly toxic. And we all had a part in it. What's perhaps most interesting is that I haven't a clue how I could have been anything but toxic to them. And vice versa. Not personal, just utter opposites.
Illuminating....
Just hit me - when we had our counseling session, Peter said our family life was so toxic, he & Mike & Mim left home as soon as they graduated from high school.
Did I visibly stagger backwards, realizing the truth of what he said? Felt like it.
Our family life was toxic. Intensely so. I felt it. Still do.
For me, Peter was one of the primary toxins!
My guess is that Peter & Mim & Kerry experience me as the primary toxin. It's a good bet that Whitney & Reynolds, maybe even Scott experienced me as the primary toxin.
Our family was spectacularly toxic. And we all had a part in it. What's perhaps most interesting is that I haven't a clue how I could have been anything but toxic to them. And vice versa. Not personal, just utter opposites.
Illuminating....
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Ancient Patterns
Gee, I'm grateful to have written my 03/17/13 posting about my oldest brother's total disconnect to earlier events in our lives - - legions of memories wiped clean from his mind.
Got a newsy chatty letter from him this week, asking me if I would drop off the family crest - remarkably carved by Val Sigstedt from natural woods - that the Bryn Athyn church society gave Dad over forty years ago, in thanks for his volunteer work. And he'd like to take me out to lunch ~ to Chick-Fil-A or Chucky Cheese or McDonald's.
Hmmm....
A delicate reply to write.
As I wrote in last month's posting, my surviving sibs + one seem to experience me as fingernails across a chalk board. It is unnerving, never knowing when something I say will drive them around the bend.
Peter is an interesting fellow. It's hard to remember a time I didn't have a sense that my existence didn't, at best, severely tax his limits. If he is to be believed, a lifetime of memories has been wiped away. In his recollection, he had virtually no contact with me after he was old enough to leave the house for college. Pretty hard to come to address, let alone come to some sort of mutual understanding, past issues with a virtual amnesiac. It's easy to understand, albeit hard to fathom - if a memory doesn't fit his present-day narrative, it never happened.
For years, I tolerated Peter because of our relationship. Took me until the past 10 years to fully appreciate that relationship requires two (2) people, not one wishing & hoping for the best. I never thought I'd have an opportunity to respond in a new way to an old toxic dynamic.
Yet, here was his letter. Awaiting a reply.
Being careful to stick to "I" statements, I explained that his long history of displeasure with my existence (I phrased it more diplomatically, but that is the reality), I must decline his invitation. I have grown past being able to invest the emotional reserves necessary to be around him - it's exhausting, never knowing when something I say will seem to get under his skin & drive him around the bend. Better to wish him well & keep our distance. At least, it’s better for me.
Sheez, never thought I'd have the opportunity to face the issue in an active state. A sad & sorry blessing, but was grateful to respond with clarity & love, at a distance.
It wasn't until late this afternoon that I was struck as if by a lightning bolt by the timing. It's been four months since Whitney moved to Australia. I might not register with Peter as a flesh & blood person, but someone who makes him feel like a brother when he needs a relationship fix - oh, yeah. Mom could always make Peter feel the loving, devoted son; I was always at the ready to treat him as the brother he loves to be.
Did he write because he needs a heaping helping of feeling part of a family? I don't know - maybe yes, maybe no.
Just know that I am past trying to puzzle it out. Am 61 years old with limited reserves of energy. I wish Peter all the best, but beyond - am all played out. Ancient patterns are tiring, although I rejoice that i was able to give my response a new spin.
Got a newsy chatty letter from him this week, asking me if I would drop off the family crest - remarkably carved by Val Sigstedt from natural woods - that the Bryn Athyn church society gave Dad over forty years ago, in thanks for his volunteer work. And he'd like to take me out to lunch ~ to Chick-Fil-A or Chucky Cheese or McDonald's.
Hmmm....
A delicate reply to write.
As I wrote in last month's posting, my surviving sibs + one seem to experience me as fingernails across a chalk board. It is unnerving, never knowing when something I say will drive them around the bend.
Peter is an interesting fellow. It's hard to remember a time I didn't have a sense that my existence didn't, at best, severely tax his limits. If he is to be believed, a lifetime of memories has been wiped away. In his recollection, he had virtually no contact with me after he was old enough to leave the house for college. Pretty hard to come to address, let alone come to some sort of mutual understanding, past issues with a virtual amnesiac. It's easy to understand, albeit hard to fathom - if a memory doesn't fit his present-day narrative, it never happened.
For years, I tolerated Peter because of our relationship. Took me until the past 10 years to fully appreciate that relationship requires two (2) people, not one wishing & hoping for the best. I never thought I'd have an opportunity to respond in a new way to an old toxic dynamic.
Yet, here was his letter. Awaiting a reply.
Being careful to stick to "I" statements, I explained that his long history of displeasure with my existence (I phrased it more diplomatically, but that is the reality), I must decline his invitation. I have grown past being able to invest the emotional reserves necessary to be around him - it's exhausting, never knowing when something I say will seem to get under his skin & drive him around the bend. Better to wish him well & keep our distance. At least, it’s better for me.
Sheez, never thought I'd have the opportunity to face the issue in an active state. A sad & sorry blessing, but was grateful to respond with clarity & love, at a distance.
It wasn't until late this afternoon that I was struck as if by a lightning bolt by the timing. It's been four months since Whitney moved to Australia. I might not register with Peter as a flesh & blood person, but someone who makes him feel like a brother when he needs a relationship fix - oh, yeah. Mom could always make Peter feel the loving, devoted son; I was always at the ready to treat him as the brother he loves to be.
Did he write because he needs a heaping helping of feeling part of a family? I don't know - maybe yes, maybe no.
Just know that I am past trying to puzzle it out. Am 61 years old with limited reserves of energy. I wish Peter all the best, but beyond - am all played out. Ancient patterns are tiring, although I rejoice that i was able to give my response a new spin.
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