The path strangely not takenI

It's beyond me - why is the media, especially conservative politicos & pundits, not taking up the "he was played" defense of DJT2?  

Once Rob Goldstone had Trump the Younger on the hook, he went after bigger fish, offering to send related info to Rhona Graff, considered "Trump's right hand" by those in the know. Praise be for POTUS' sake, his son apparently declined Goldstone's request for her e-mail.  It doesn't take a super brain to see someone casting out a lure, then once one fish was hooked, casting about for bigger trophies, all of which ended up as a classic bait & switch.

If I was a conservative mediaite, I'd depict DJT2 as the victim of a seasoned operative, out to get his hooks into a kid who trusted him & only wanted to please his Dad - we can all relate to that - to earn his praise & positive attention by landing a major coup.  But how to explain Kushner approving of the meeting, attending?  And Manaforte makes NO sense at all, unless he also wanted to see fils & fils-in-law seriously compromised. 

It's a path strangely not taken.

I've yet to hear the most OBVIOUS question

And yet it begs to be asked - WHY did Rob Goldstone write the e-mail letter to DJT, jr in the first place?  

It looks like blatant entrapment, clear cut bait & switch.  Seems to me that DJT jr & Jared were played by Goldstone - with a possible assist from Manafort, because why else would a super savvy political operative with full knowledge of where the lines are that one does NOT step over not squash the situation from the get go.  

Paring Down

To this day, I have no idea which of the two of us - John or I - was most surprised by my 1990 Christmas Eve crying jag.  It was our second Christmas, our first at Squirrel Haven.  Something happened & I burst into tears.  To this day, I can see John's startled self, hear his simple words - "This is not fun."

What did he mean, "This is not fun"??  Crying on Christmas Eve had been part & parcel of my adult holiday dynamic for years & years.  Never noticed that Mom didn't go off the deep end, that Mim didn't, that Peter definitely didn't.  But MY getting momentarily unraveled seemed my holiday norm.  John's comment, spoken in his marvelously neutral voice, unweighted by added agendas, took me unawares.

Not cry on Christmas?  Seriously?  Was it possible?

The two of us talked about it.  Didn't take a genius to realize that I'd spent a lifetime adding on one "must-do" holiday tradition on top of another, without ever dropping one.  If felt to me like it was MY responsibility to ensure that each of them got checked off my Christmas to-do list if the holidays were going to be acceptable to the rest.  Yet it all was anything but jolly for my John. 

For the first time, I set about paring down my expectations of what to do.  Which traditions really mattered, which didn't?   I got to the point of realizing that if others didn't care enough about a particular activity or holiday jaunt to help make it so, then it was actually okay for it not to make the cut.  Radical thought!  And liberating.

It didn't take many years under the new perspective to realize that Christmas has nothing to do with doing stuff & everything about celebrating relationship, especially on the spiritual level.  Things got a mega boost when John introduced me to a remarkable version of the Christmas story from the 1950s, sponsored by Bell Telephone & featuring marionettes that wondrously caught the reverence of the characters.  Watching it became our first common Christmas tradition; since I recorded it, we could watch it whenever it was convenient!  

Today, our "must-do" traditions are significantly less than they were 22 years ago.  We love going to the tableaux together (John still marvels that he stroked a camel on the cathedral lawn - there won't be any "shepherds' campfire" tonight, with all the snow & ice!), love shopping at Peddler's Village, but mostly we love the simple moments of being together & having fun.

John personalized one of my family's most iconic Christmas traditions.  Starting with that Christmas that was our first as Squirrel Haven, our second with Mom living with us, I asked John to read the story of the Christ Child, just as Dad had done.  For years, he read the blessed words.  Then, one Christmas, he read for a bit, then handed the book to ME to continue.  Picking up on his inspired idea, I read, then handed to book onto Mom.  To this day, we read the story the same way, sharing the reading & the listening.  

The house looks lovely, but not at all what it would have been when Mom was alive. Stocking will be hung, but not crammed with exquisite, "Where did you find this?!" treasures.  The only tree will be a tiny one, less than 2-ft high, well out of reach of kitties' inquisitive paws.  A beautiful room that welcomes snugs on the couch & calm, restful evenings of just being with each other. 

One tradition remains - the Lockhart nativity is still the first decoration to be put up.  So many memories, so much family joy.

Paring away the "must do" attitude leaves us free to fully enjoy.  Letting things be fully as they are rather than fussing over reconstructing some image of what was - how liberating! 

Am dedicating the next four weeks to paring down so many things in my life.  How wonderful that my efforts begin with celebrating Christmas in the pared down style developed over the past 22+ years.  What better success on which to build!!

Seriously - COSTA RICA??

Aside from a deep longing to visit Rhodeside, I've never ever harbored any sort of longing to visit Costa Rica.  Am a Vermont & Montreal type, not Florida & the Bahamas. 

Until now. 

Now, I long with every fiber in my being to be in Costa Rica the first week in February.  To be precise, to be at Blue Spirit Omega, in Nosara, Costa Rica, lapping up inspiration from Nancy Slonim Aronie. 

Yes, it would have been so much easier & waaaay less expensive to connect with her this past March at the Rowe Camp & Conference Center ~OR~ at Omega in June, but am only now reading her wondrous book, Writing from the Heart!!

So, Costa Rica it is. 

Is it in any way, shape or form SANE to plot & plan ways to get to a tropical paradise when I barely have one shekel to rub against another? 

Sanity has nothing to do with this! 

Just reading the first few pages of her book changed my life, made me realize that - at its most successful - my life's work is to help others, including but not limited to olders, experience every moment as present-moment memoir. 

Yes, yes, yes - that is a contradiction in terms, but the gist of it is what I mean.  To live OUR own, unique lives in a manner that honors each & every moment.  Every one.  To find rich material for life experience in the most challenging as well as the most celebratory times. 

As a blurb for the book - featured on the cover - notes, "I loved Writing from the Heart for its warmth, its wit, and its celebration of the ups, downs, and unexpected swerves of the writing journey."  

YES!  That is what I long to convey to my grannie clients, to my everyones - 

celebrate all of it!

It's possible that the first week in February might find me in frosty Pennsylvania rather than toasty Costa Rica, but a girl can wish - and I will!   But if fortune smiles on me in other ways & am still in SE PA come the week of 02/01/14, you'll likely find me nestled in my Squirrel Haven sactuary, a cozy spot all my own, tucked down in the basement, writing or enjoying solitude or experiencing some other uplifting aspect of lessons from the wondrous Nancy Slonim Aronie. 

Then again, you never know...   Every evening star will be tapped with a request, every sweet dream graced with splendid anticipation.  In my heart of hearts, am envisioning blowing out ALL my 03/07 birthday candles with a thank you instead of a wish!

Surprise Challenge

How many other people are like me, facing the startling challenge of making strides in personal work, only to have stubborn remnants of uber determined self dig its heels in & RESIST letting go of the very things I've worked so hard to release?  

So Hum ~ Who Am I?

The first day of what I term the ChOprah Center 21-day meditation series, Desire & Destiny.

Surprised by how much I took from it, what with being at the very public Swedenborg Library.  Yet, all surrounding distractions fell away as I followed Deepak's voice into the meditation. 

The same cannot be said of the internal distractions, the monkey chatter that played over & over atop the base note of today's mantra - So hum/Who am I?  Fascinating to feel the duck & weave of sounds & images that overlay the mantra.  My moment-to-moment reality is that whifty stuff continually competes just that way, diverting attention & focus & energies. 

But my deeper mind DID keep drawing my attention & focus & energies back to the mantra, back to be who I am, whatever that may turn out to be. 

My first dabble at meditation went far better than I expected.   So hum - What am I?


You are what your deepest desire is; as is your desire, so is your intention;  as is your intention, so is your will;  as is your will, so is your deed;  as is your deed, so is your destiny.
 

"Who Pays?"

This past week, I conducted an experiment.  Instead of test tubes, I had mini cupcakes; instead of chemicals, I had frostings, sprinkles & a smattering of embellishments.  To whit, I made 200 cupcakes for the New Church Day picnic at the church & offered a “frost & sprinkle” activity for any & all comers. 

John & I were tucked into the cloisters, which turned out to be an ideal location.  Most picnickers didn’t know we were there, so instead of being inundated with dozens & dozens of kids & adults waiting to frost & decorate mini cupcakes, we enjoyed ourselves with the about 40 souls who happened upon us & enjoyed picking out a mini, a frosting & a sprinkle. 

We had fun, dozens of kids & adults enjoyed it, and John took in stride his first outing as the  Cupcakester.  And I came away with good data for putting on our next community cupcake event (the July 4^th picnic). 

Next time (less then 10 days from now!), will prefrost the cupcakes (a combination of chocolate & vanilla cupcakes and chocolate & vanilla frostings), keeping them tucked away in a cooler.  Will haul them out as needed, about 2 dozen at a time, allowing enough time for frostings to warm up enough to retain a sprinkle or embellishment, without the frosting melting in the hot July temps.  And no one will have to wait for a child to decide which topping to pick!  (Ginny set the record on 06/19, taking 5 minutes to choose!)   

Instead of being at a long table, we’ll have the cooler with us at our picnic blanket, along with two of the small portable tables Leslie gave us when she moved to her parents – just the right size for a container of cupcakes on one table, an array of topping options on the other.  Easy to be open for business, or just enjoy our picnic.  Win-win, my favorite combination!

Offering cupcakes provides a reason for us to be at the picnic.  We don’t have children or extended family, aren’t particularly fond of picnics, don’t really have a spur to attend the community event.  Cupcakes provide a reason for & method of connection!

What amazed me with the New Church Day picnic foray was the number of adults who asked, “Who pays for your ingredients?”,  who were genuinely startled when I answered, "We do."  It seemed incomprehensible to them that I would underwrite such a venture.  

Let’s see – the cost of making the cupcakes was under $5.  Frostings set us back about $8.  Yes, I bought multi-colored non-pareils, rainbow jimmies, chocolate jimmies & a box of Nerds, adding another $8.  Didn’t have the dazzling choice of embellishments & sprinkles that’s offered at Bryn Athyn Bounty, baked mini cupcakes instead of the standard size, and had a relatively limited choice of frostings.  Did the whole thing for just over $20. 

Yet some people would consider that a princely sum.  Including people with considerable wealth.  

Why would I pay good money to give something away to kids & adults who aren’t related or connected to me in any way but through the heart?  A shocking # of whom seem stumped that I’d invest in cupcakes & frostings et al without thought of reimbursement or profit.  (At the New Church Day picnic, one man tried to forcibly pay me for the mini he frosted & decorated for an adult friend – he could not comprehend my refusal.)

Who pays?  That one question gets in the way of doing so much good.  

Last year, I put on a spur-of-the-moment New Year’s Eve party at our local retirement village.  Rented a classic Cary Grant & Katharine Hepburn movie, bought several bottles of Martinelli’s sparkling cider, hauled out my champagne flute collection, whipped up about four basic desserts (fanciest was the lemon bars).  We had a grand time & the whole thing cost me less than $30.  What was my return on investment?  Kept New Year's Eve depression at bay for two grannie clients & got to see the fun that everyone had, including John & myself.

Out of that evening came my dream of putting on a monthly pot luck dinner at Cairnwood Village, each month provided & served by a different group of community "youngers" in thanks for all that we have received from our older friends & relatives.  It would be an open invitation, welcoming all the Cairnwood Village residents and any elder from the community who wants to attend.  If someone wants to come, but doesn’t have transportation to & from, we’d arrange for someone to pick them up & deliver them home.

Nothing fancy.  My dream is for a true pot luck, with each younger bringing a family dish he or she particularly enjoys making.  Could be as simple & low cost as spaghetti casseroles, tossed salads, fruit juice & water, cupcakes & brownies for dessert.  

The food wouldn’t matter; the love behind it would. 

Yes, it would take a teensy bit of money to put on.  Yes, it would require time organizing & setting up & cleaning afterward.  But our time & energy, giving both freely, even joyously, is what provides the value.

To my shock, most people I talk to about my idea of a monthly pot luck consider it pie in the sky, a non starter.  Who'd pitch in to make it happen?  What's in it for them?  

From my point of view, who wouldn’t?  Who wouldn’t have a sense of reward from saying thank you to people who deserve hearing it every day?  

But it seems that to some folks, if an effort doesn’t include a pay back for them, it isn’t worth their time & certainly not their money or inconvenience.  

I don’t believe that’s most people.  I believe that most people long to offer some form of pay back for all the bounty we’ve received, especially those of us in my small hometown. 

There’s a great line in the film Scrooged, near the end of the flick.  Frank Cross, a once-sorry excuse for a human being who has seen the light, tells a TV audience, “It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”  He goes on to talk about how it would be if we carried that Christmas Eve feeling into the whole year, that once you get a taste for doing for others, you’ll want it again & again.  A great riff on true charity, which does more for the heart & soul of the person offering it than it does for the recipient.

Personally, I’ve been hooked for years.  It feels great to let others know you see them, you appreciate them, you want to say THANKS.  My belief is that my little hometown is filled with people waiting to get a taste of such sweetness, to reach out & let others know they are seen, valued, appreciated.

Who’s going to pay?  Does it matter? We can all get unimagined returns on even the smallest investment.  We just have to make it, then feel it pay off.  

As the combined cast sings at the end of Scrooged, inviting the movie audience to join in ~

Think of your fellow man, lend him a helping hand –

Put a little love in your heart.

You see it's gettin' late, oh please don't hesitate –

Put a little love in your heart.

And the world will be a better place

And the world will be a better place

For you and me you just wait you just wait and see and see…